Banana Split
by Draconsis
Summary: The annual JuOhCho dinner is coming up, and Tsuzuki has a banana fetish! But there aren't any bananas on the menu! What horrors will he undergo to get them there?


Hello all! Draconsis here, crazy person who normally stays in the Fushigi Yuugi section of the website. But I'll try my hand at a Yami no Matsuei, and we'll see what happens…

All reviews, flames, completely random notes done for the fun of typing and pressing buttons are accepted. Have fun!

DISCLAIMER: Now, if I owned Yami no Matsuei, this would have actually happened in a manga book that you would have to pay for. However, I am not the great Matsushita Yoko-sama, so you get to read the fic for free. BE HAPPY!

-=[Banana Split]=-

Chapter One

===========Featuring==========

Draconsis (Crazy fanfiction authoress)

Sansele (See above)

MelC (Poor friend of both above dragged into this.)

=============================

(…) Descriptions

[…] Side notes

*…* Actions

It's a normal day in Meifu...as normal as any day can get. 

Tsuzuki: (Kami-sama knows how many pastries there are in front of him) Banana layered cake, banana fritters, banana milkshake, banana meringue pie, and banana cream cake...WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!! *Tucks in*

Hisoka: (trying very hard not to go over and beat Tsuzuki's brains [Hisoka: What brains?] out) He's gone banana's over bananas...

Tatsumi: *walks in* Has anyone seen-

Tatsumi is simultaneously knocked over by three crazy, hentai, hyperactive fourteen-year-old god knows whats.

Draconsis: TATSUMI-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN~~~~~~!

Sansele: TSUMI-CHAN! TSUMI-CHAN! TSUMI-CHAN!

Draconsis and Sansele promptly glomp a _very_ annoyed Tatsumi.

MelC: YO! *Slaps his back*

And Tatsumi goes flyingggggggggg......

Tsuzuki: *starts laughing*

Sansele: *one hand on cheek* Mou, MelC-chan, be careful! We need him alive!

Draconsis: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Points at Tsuzuki & Hisoka*

And all three of them prepare to glomp their fave Shikigami...

Tatsumi: *scary black flames around him* Thats. *Cracks knuckles* Enough.

All Three: *move away from him* Haiiiii.

Konoe: (Gone into shock) What are THEY doing here?!

Tatsumi: Kacho, as you know, this year it is EnMaCho's turn to organize the annual JuOhCho's company dinner.

Tsuzuki: Dinnerrrrrrrrrrrr...*starry eyes*

Hisoka: Incurable.

Tatsumi: *Death glare*

Tsuzuki, Hisoka: *Shut up*

Tatsumi: Due to the fact that Watari-

And on cue, a loud BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM comes from the laboratory section of the building.

All: *Sweatdrop*

Tatsumi: As I was saying, Watari-kun is currently tied up doing certain...experiments, and I am busy redoing our estimate of certain damages...*Death glare at Tsuzuki*

Tsuzuki: *Turns into a dog and goes off to hide in a corner*

Tatsumi: Plus, we wouldn't dream of imposing this task onto our Kacho [sarcasm will get you anywhere]...

Konoe: *Nod nod*

Tsuzuki: Ne, what about Hisoka and me?

Hisoka: You think he'll leave it to you?

Tsuzuki: Why not?

Tatsumi: This is the reason why. *Dumps previous damage report onto Tsuzuki's desk. [Thickness: roughly a foot]*

Tsuzuki: Ehehhehehhehe...

Hisoka: *Rolls eyes*

Tatsumi: Plus, Kurosaki-kun will need to keep both eyes on Tsuzuki to make sure that he does not cause _further_ damage...

Tsuzuki: *Turns into a dog and hides under desk*

Tatsumi: And the other Shinigami are all currently on cases. Therefore, I had to hire these three to do the job. *Vein pop*

Konoe: Won't this add to our budget?

Tatsumi: Well, no actually. They're doing it for free...

Draconsis: *Busy taking photos of Hisoka*

Hisoka: *Inches away* *Gives Draconsis a weird look*

Arrow pointing to Draconsis: Hisoka Fangirl

Tatsumi: Provided they're allowed access to everywhere, and can do anything to anybody, provided it does not leave grievous lasting physical or emotional scars.

All three: *Innocent look*

Konoe: But you had to pick _them_.

Tatsumi: A certain Muraki Kazutaka also offered to do it for Tsuzuki's body...

Tsuzuki: *Face crumples*

Tatsumi: But it would distract Tsuzuki from all the **paperwork he needs to do**...*Death glare*

Tsuzuki: Ehehhehe...*Picks up pen*

Tatsumi: So they were the best option.

Konoe: But the worst choice.

Tatsumi: Sadly, yes.

Hisoka: *Is squished up into a corner where Draconsis is still taking pictures*

Arrow pointing to Draconsis: Major Hisoka Fangirl

Draconsis: *Crazy, hentai smile* Ne, Hisoka, could you smile a bit? Pleaseeeeeeee...

Hisoka: *Contemplating whether he should run for it, ask for help, or just blast her to smithereens*

Sansele and MelC meanwhile, are going through Tatsumi's desk...

Sansele: One packet of mentos mints.

MelC: Check. *Takes photo of said object*

Tatsumi: What. Are. You. Two. Doing.

Sansele: Gathering information about you to sell on the otaku black market for millions and millions of dollars!!!! *Crazy laugh*

Tatsumi: *Scary black flames erupt from behind him*

MelC: Er, you get a percentage of the profits though.

Tatsumi: Oh. *Raises eyebrow* How much?

MelC: Say, 25%?

Tatsumi: Okay. What about that? *Points to Draconsis and Hisoka*

Draconsis: *Continues snapping away* 30%!

Tatsumi: *Holds out hand* Nice to do business with all of you. *Shakes hands with Draconsis, Sansele and MelC*

Hisoka: *stricken look*

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That's all for right now minna, and remember, REVIEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!


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